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Showing posts from February, 2012

Saying "I love you" online

Here is a brief article on saying "I love you" online. It looks like it will make an interesting discussion starter for relationship development and commitment. http://www.internetproviders.net/blog/2012/10-ways-to-broadcast-your-love-online/

Politeness as an Interpersonal Relationship Theory

This brief discussion of politeness as an interpersonal relationship theory comes from my Interpersonal Communication Book but I thought that those using Interpersonal Messages or Essentials of Human Communication might also find this relevant.   Another approach to relationships looks at politeness as a major force in developing, maintaining, and deteriorating relationships. Politeness theory would go something like this: Two people develop a relationship when each respects, contributes to, and acknowledges the positive and negative face needs of the other and it deteriorates when they don't. Positive face is the need to be thought of highly, to be valued, to be esteemed. In more communication terms, respect for positive face entails the exchange of compliments, praise, and general positivity. Negative face is the need to be autonomous, to be in control of one's own behavior, to not be obligated to do something. In more communication terms, respect for negative face e...

How to be Liked at Work

Like all cultures, workplace cultures have their own rituals, norms, and rules for communicating. These rules, whether in an interview situation or in a friendly conversation, delineate appropriate and inappropriate verbal and nonverbal behavior, specify rewards (or punishments for breaking the rules), and tell you what will help you get and keep a job and what won�t. For example, the general advice given throughout this text is to emphasize your positive qualities, to highlight your abilities, and to minimize any negative characteristics or failings. But in some organizations�especially within collectivist cultures such as those of China, Korea, and Japan�workers are expected to show modesty (Copeland & Griggs, 1985). If you stress your own competencies too much, you may be seen as arrogant, brash, and unfit to work in an organization where teamwork and cooperation are emphasized. Here are just a few of the ways to be liked at work which, as you�ll see, are essentially rules for...

Politeness in the Workplace: Self-Test

I originally created this self-test on politeness for the revision of Interpersonal Messages but later decided to use a more general (and shorter) self-test for politeness. But, I thought this one might be of use as well, especially for those who want to focus on the workplace. Test Yourself How Polite Are You at Work? Here is a list of statements that refer to polite behavior with special application to the workplace. Indicate the degree to which each statement reflects your own behavior, using the following scale: (1) always, (2) sometimes, (3) about half and half, (4) seldom, and (5) never. _____ 1.                     I listen attentively to those I supervise, my peers, and my managers. _____ 2.                     I avoid imposing on others. _____ 3.       ...

Moving in Together

http://www.bestdatingsites.org/blog/2012/10-ways-to-test-drive-moving-in-together/ Here's an interesting list of suggestions for moving in together. This fits in well with our text discussions of relationship development but it's something none of the textbooks touch on.

Interaction Management

The term interaction management has been used in a variety of studies on interpersonal communication and refers to the techniques and strategies by which you regulate and carry on interpersonal interactions. It is certainly one of the essential interpersonal skills. Effective interaction management results in an interaction that�s satisfying to both parties. Neither person feels ignored or that he or she must carry on the entire conversation; each contributes to, benefits from, and enjoys the interpersonal exchange. Of course, all interpersonal communication theory, research, and skills are devoted to the effective management of interpersonal interactions. Here, however, are three specific suggestions: <   Maintain your role as speaker or listener and pass the opportunity to speak back and forth�through appropriate eye movements, vocal expressions, and body and facial gestures. This will show that you�re in control of and comfortable in the interaction. <   Keep the c...
Politeness for Kids Here's a brief list of reasons for children to say "thank you" and is a useful primer on teaching politeness behavior to children.

Dating Cautions

http://www.topdatingsites.com/blog/2012/10-signs-that-someone-will-say-anything-to-date-you/ Here's a clever little piece on cautions to observe when a potential dating partner seems too perfect to be real.

Falling out of Love

Here's an interesting article on relationship dissolution which should spark lots of class discussion especially on Valentine's Day. http://www.bestdatingsites.org/blog/2012/10-tips-for-falling-out-of-love-with-someone/

Equality

Here is a brief discussion of equality as a communication strategy to add to those already posted. In interpersonal communication the term equality refers to an attitude or approach that treats each person as an important and vital contributor to the interaction. In any situation, of course, there will be some inequality; one person will be higher in the organizational hierarchy, more knowledgeable, or more interpersonally effective. But despite this fact, an attitude of superiority is to be avoided. Interpersonal communication is generally more effective when it takes place in an atmosphere of equality. Here are a few suggestions for communicating equality in all interactions, and especially in those involving conflict. <   Avoid �should� and �ought� statements (for example, �You really should call your mother more often� or �You should learn to speak up�). These statements put the listener in a one-down position. <   Make requests (especially courteous ones) and av...

Politeness

http://www.babysitters.net/blog/10-ways-to-teach-kids-common-courtesy/ Here's a great list of ways to teach basic politeness to kids. In many ways, these are common communication principles and will fit in well with the emphasis on politeness.

Communication Currents

http://www.natcom.org/commcurrentsissue.aspx The new issue of Communication Currents is out. This is a publication of the National Communication Association and is addressed to the general public--its subtitle is: Knowledge for Communicating Well.  Edited by Katherine Hawkins, the current issue contains articles on long distance relationships, small talk, communciation and success, and free speech. Take a look; I think you'll be pleased.