Self Disclosure Notes

Self-Disclosure

The process of revealing personal information about oneself to someone else�self-disclosure�is one of the defining hallmarks of intimacy.

Two people cannot be said to be intimate with each other

if they do not share some personal, relatively confidential,

information with each other.

How Self-Disclosure Develops

  Social penetration theory holds that as   relationships develop, partners become   more intimate by increasing two aspects of   their verbal communication:

�Its breadth � the variety of topics they discuss, and

�Its depth � the personal significance of the topics they discuss.

As a relationship develops, self-disclosure increases in both breadth and depth.

• Reciprocity is usually evident as the partners match each other�s level of openness.
• And the interpersonal process model of intimacy holds that trust builds and intimacy increases when one�s partner responds with interest and empathy.
• Perceived partner responsiveness, the judgment that one�s partner is understanding and caring, is a key part of the process by which intimacy develops.
• Secondary or surface items are exchanged more and sooner.
• Disclosure is reciprocal, especially in early stages.
• Penetration is fast at first, then slower.
• De-penetration is gradual.
• True intimacy requires both breadth and depth.

Nevertheless, there are usually some things we keep to ourselves.

Taboo topics are sensitive matters that partners agree, explicitly or implicitly, not to discuss.

The most common taboo topic is the state of one�s relationship.

 People may devise various tests of a partner�s interest and devotion, and they may interrogate a partner�s friends, but the issue often seems too delicate to be discussed openly with the partner.

Self-Disclosure and Relationship Satisfaction

Self-disclosure that fits the situation breeds liking and contentment in close relationships, for several reasons:

�We reveal more personal information to those we like;

�We also tend to like others more because we have opened up   to them;

�Others like us more when we self-disclose.

Self-disclosure is not only good for our relationships,

it�s good for us.

People who have substantive, deep conversations

with others are happier and healthier

than those who stick to superficial small talk.

Risk Revelation Model

�Describes many of the decisions people go through when they are considering whether or not to reveal their secret to someone.

�6 types of strategies to reveal their secrets:

�preparation and rehearsal: practicing the secret with other people first.

�directness: telling the person the secret face-to-face or initiating the secret. 

�third party revelations: telling someone who the person knows will probably tell the target person the secret.

�incremental disclosures: telling portions of the secret or revealing bits and pieces of the secret to gauge a person�s reaction.

�entrapment: leaving evidence of the secret for the other person to find, or reveals the secret in the heat of an argument.

           �indirect mediums: through the telephone, email, text message, or mail.